Feeling incredibly let down all the time at the moment, feel like the only person I can rely on is myself, I suppose on the plus side we'll be getting some good fics out of this latest bout of emotions, I'm off to write in the hopes of venting and cheering myself up, sorry for the weepy post but had to get it off my chest somwhere,

You know I've realised I would love to have a job like Torchwood, running round kicking alien butt and drinking great coffee, but seriously it's made me realise that I'm really not sure what I want to do, aren't these things meant to find you or shouldn't it be one of those things that you have wanted to do all of your life? Why has it skipped me by? grr I just don't know and it's time to get some advise, even if I get a job and then do evening classes which is probably my best bet at the moment, I just want to be doing something but I know the importance of having a skill and the only thing I've ever really loved is English and creativity in general, I feel like I may have thrown my options away but I panicked a few years ago after the death of a very close friend and threw all caution to the wind and took a chance, now it's time to think a little bit more,

So I'm going to think and try and research some things, hopefully something will fall out of the sky and hit me in the head ^_^ one can only hope !

I'm so annoyed, my college is messing me around again and I haven't even gone back yet! I've tried to talk to my mum about not going back but she just doesn't listen, if I do go back I won't be able to work which is not an option, why should I go back to college when they don't even teach me anything?! I've wasted a year of my life there already, and I thought sixth form was bad :( I have no idea what I'm going to do! I don't even know what I want to do, I feel as though I have to decide now or I'm just going to get stuck in the routine again, grr why is it that just when you think everything is fitting into place and going well everything goes wrong again,

Happy Halloween everyone!!

As per usual I always try and get a fic up for halloween and have only suceeded once, and definately not this year, this year was the worse, I only got one paragraph done oh well might see how it goes and post it late lol

Am hoping to get some fics up asap,

any hoo

Happy Halloween, have a great night

Ok so calmly watching Saw IV the other night (I was told that the X Japan song never made it onto the soundtrack >.>) and the film ends and the credits start rolling and I'm like... I know this (never heard the IV song before) but I knew it because as a crazy X fangirl you just know don't you ;P

So my boyfriend goes to turn it off and I all but bite his head off, going  It's Toshi!!! It's Yoshiki's work you can't turn this off it's XJAPAN!! yes he thought I was mad but so what I'm passionate about JRock :D

anyhoo thats not even the most amazing part! I check out the PV and it almost brings me to tears because if you didn't know it I absoulutely Love and adore hide! he is my idol forever! so I watch the PV thinking Yay X but wouldn't it be great if the pink spider was there and whats amazing is the clips of him they show throughout the PV and his guitar stood there to represent him. I thought it was such an amazing gesture and shows just how much he meant to them,

hide truely is immortal...

TROPIC THUNDER was the funniest film EVER seriously I was in tears almost the whole way through the film, ask anyone, funniest film in the world!

Robert Downey Jr was amazing!

Ok been really busy recently what with work and college and everything that I have going at the moment, I'm also trying to get my fics done as well as brain storming some more, ^_^

Halloween soon everyone!! Am hoping to post a Halloween fic for the day and..... I was watching Hocus Pocus the other day ^_^ how did I not know Sarah Jessica Parker was in it?

was great to watch it again though I want a cat called Binx, anyhoo, I'll try and update things more and post things more, maybe if I wasn't so busy....

take care

-DD-

Ok it was my first day at a new college today, was scary to say the least, firstly they all knew each other already save for me so was pretty lonely but I don't mind that so long as I can get my work done, but we haven't started the work just a load of boring 'lets all get to know each other and like each other'  stuff >.> I hate those things so pointless if someone doesn't like you telling them a few meaningless points about your life isn't going to change that.

The one woman bothering me and trying to pair me up for lunch, just let me in the library and I'll be fine thank you very much, silly people, some people just want to get on with things they don't actually NEED for EVERYONE to like them shocking isn't it -_-U

Yes so maybe I've started to feel a bit bitter towards silly nusciance people, what can I say? I love Farfarello and when writing about him you sort of understand why he gets so annoyed at people >.> in a sense -_-U 
 
Not to mention I have had the worst headache all day O_o

Oh well hopefully work will come soon and I'll be able to use the library, will be much better then

take care

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.

Ok I have just spend ages modifying this page so I hope that it looks ok, it was about time I think n.n I'm actually feeling pretty good about it, I'm hoping to get some of my fics up by later on but we'll just have to see, someone is currently trying to hack into my computer for some reason -_-U ah the trials and tribulations of the internet.